All about me

My name is Xena. I am half Great Pyrenees, half German Shepherd (or so I've been told; I like to think I'm half wolf). But my mother, who was a one-time show-dog (I'll dig up a photo somewhere) was raped by a transient German Shepherd, and here I am.

I started out life on a small acreage in Estacada, Oregon, with two brothers and two sisters. Because I was the most aggressive (again, heresay), I was chosen to live with the person who now serves me.

Due to my nature, I was named after the Xena from the TV series, and of course, she's no dog, but I try to live up to my namesake. Case in point, in the past three months I've hunted down two coyotes, one adult possum and three baby possums, at least one raccoon, and three baby bunnies. Now, I don't kill anything, understand, I only find them and let others make the decision for me. So what happened to the possums was not my fault; nor was it my fault that The-Person-Who-Serves-Me made it look like roadkill.

On the farm where I now live with The-Person-Who-Serves-Me, we have five horses. Two I have known since I was a puppy. I don't chase horses, although one time I was following too close to the younger Arabian, Shani, when she was running, and somehow her hoof slipped and I got nailed in the right eye. This has left me with a slowly growing cataract and a profound respect for what the business end of a horse can do.

Although I am not violent, I have a reputation as a thief. I have brought home such a variety of things that there's hardly space to list them, but mostly they consist of single shoes (many), single gloves (one time I brought home an actual PAIR of new leather gloves, which really excited The-Person-Who-Serves-Me), Coors Light, a Starbucks Iced Mint Frappucino, and so many baby toys that it makes me blush. I especially love squeaky or soft, floppy plush toys (but more on those later).

Because I steal (and The-Person-Who-Serves-Me is constantly apologizing to people) I make a point of burying nearly everything I bring home. Recently The-Person-Who-Serves-Me thought she made a grisly discovery in the swamp in the pasture, but as you will see, it turned out to be something I already knew about.

I know I should probably go into therapy for this thievery problem, but it's a lot of fun because I get so much more attention when I do it than when I don't. And any attention is good, especially when they're begging you to return a shoe you've taken from a dinner guest. I can't get enough of that.